I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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