It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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