She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
Well I just put wine in my tea
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Randomize
