I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
Randomize
