I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
