I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
Randomize