Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
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