whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
Randomize
