we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
