2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Randomize
