Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Randomize