can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
