Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
