She's JV to your varsity
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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