After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
I intend to get homeless drunk
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Randomize
