this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
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