I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
