You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
