Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
Randomize
