I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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