Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
We need to rekindle our bromance
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Randomize