WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Randomize
