Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Randomize
