like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Randomize
