So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
Randomize
