gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize