I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
