when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
