I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
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