this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Randomize