the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
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