They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
Randomize
