That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Randomize
