If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize
