Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize
