I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
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