carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
