I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
