you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Randomize
