she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
I need moral support for this bender
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
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