GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
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