I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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