Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Randomize
