You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Randomize
