just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
Randomize
