Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
