whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
Randomize
