She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Randomize
