im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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