I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
