In the future we'll all be gay
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize
