birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
