She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Randomize
