I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Randomize
