he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
Randomize
