The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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