names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Randomize
