yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
Randomize
