Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
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