i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
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