She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
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