remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
