what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
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