this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
