oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
Randomize
