It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
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